Looking for sex advice to get better in bed?
Sex can get stale and boring if you don’t know how to please your partner or keep things feeling fresh. Repetition can turn exciting sex into a drag.
Fortunately, there are ways to spice things up.
Read our list below and discover how you can improve your skills in the bedroom. Getting better at sex requires a lot of patience and practice, but it all starts with one important tip, which we’ll tackle first: talking about it.
Talk About Sex
If you want to get better in bed, it’s important to discuss sex with your partner. Discuss each other’s fantasies. This will encourage your partner to try out things that turn you on and you’ll know what to do for your partner, too.
Of course, you also need to discuss limitations. Understand what your girlfriend, wife, or partner feels anxious about or what they consider as hard limits. Discuss which ones to push and which ones never to attempt breaking.
Make it a habit to discuss sex after doing it. Discover what she enjoyed the most, what she didn’t, and what she wants to explore further. You can plan this out for future sessions.
Communicate During Sex
Communication doesn’t end. One of the most important sex tips is to keep communicating even while in the heat of the moment.
No, this doesn’t refer solely to dirty talk, although that is a big help for some couples. Remember that communication doesn’t always have to be verbal. You can become better at sex simply by paying attention to your partner.
Listen to their moans, look at how their body moves, and how they gasp or breathe. Pay attention to their hands, the way she tugs or pushes, and whether she’s opening up or clenching.
Don’t Rush Foreplay
If you want to please your partner, don’t focus entirely on penetration. Sure, that’s the heaviest moment in sex but it’s not the only part of it. Take your time with foreplay and learn to experiment with how you tease and explore her body.
Never consider foreplay as a chore. Don’t look down on it like it’s simply an appetizer to the main dish. For some women, foreplay is the meat and potatoes, so take your time and experiment with different ideas.
Use your tongue, grab her hand and make her participate, or experiment with candles or ice cubes. Push her buttons and get her in the mood.
Know Her Hotspots
Speaking of buttons, learn which parts of her body turn her on. Sex for men has a different perspective when it comes to women. This means things that might turn you on won’t always work for her.
For example, a lot of women aren’t visually stimulated. You can get a guy ready for sex simply by stripping for him but getting naked for a woman might not always do the trick. Discover which parts of her body turn her on and then learn how to play with them.
Some women love it when a man licks in her ear. Others feel the heat when a man gives her oral sex. Some love playing rough or get turned on with neck biting.
Use Lube
Yes, women naturally get wet and this helps with penetration but it’s not always enough. This is always the case if you plan on using some toys such as dildos and vibrators. Proper lubrication is also something to consider if you want to try out anal sex.
The solution is to use lube. Lube sometimes comes with sex toys but more often than not, you’ll have to buy a pack yourself. Get enough so that you won’t need to go out and buy some every time you have sex.
Keep in mind there are several types of lube: water-based, oil, silicone, and products that mix those three. For vaginal sex, make sure to stick with water-based lube.
Watch Porn Together
Watching porn shouldn’t be something to hide. Don’t feel ashamed about it. Instead, turn it into an activity that can help you perform better in bed.
Don’t focus entirely on the kind of porn you like, either. Wait and watch for her to pick a video. This will help educate you on the kind of sex she’s into.
Take cues from what she loves to watch. Ask her if she wants to experiment and replicate some of the things in the videos you watched.
Another way to use porn is to masturbate to it together. We’ll tackle this more in-depth in a different section below.
Try New Positions
Missionary is a great position. Going from behind, whether with her on her knees or while standing, can be fun for you and her alike. Standing up, experimenting with positions in front of a mirror, or using a sex bench can all produce different sensations.
However, don’t limit yourself to these standard positions.
Try out other positions as well. If they weren’t comfortable, simply don’t do them again. You might find one that works for both of you!
Read about positions in the Kama Sutra. Try positions you saw in porn videos. Check out a list of top recommended sex positions or simply discuss possible positions with your partner.
Bring Some Toys
It’s okay to experiment with toys. She will always prefer the human body, so don’t consider a dildo or vibrator as competition. They can feel good but they won’t beat the real deal.
That said, get a bit adventurous. Start with a simple dildo, vibrator, cuffs, or a blindfold. If your partner is into it, play with anal beads or a butt plug. If you’re both into BDSM (which we’ll tackle below), why not play with a whip or Shibari rope play?
Even the most basic toys can deliver new sensations. Become better at sex by loading your arsenal of toys and options for her to try out!
Get Adventurous
Vanilla sex works for a lot of couples. It’s the standard way of having sex and for some, that’s all they need. However, if you want to get better at sex, you should consider dabbling in some adventurous ideas.
For example, you could experiment with basic roleplaying. You don’t need costumes for it. Simply get her and yourself in the mindset of playing characters and scenarios.
Doing so can make sex feel new and exciting again.
Don’t feel afraid to discuss and try out BDSM. It doesn’t even have to be as intense as shown in porn. A mere blindfold, gag ball, and cuffs can already do a lot to spice up bedroom play.
Of course, if you’ll dabble in BDSM and rough play, don’t forget four important factors: consent, safe words, limits, and aftercare.
Prolong Orgasm
Sex can end as soon as a guy reaches his climax. Orgasm for a woman often doesn’t end the session, because she can build up another one in a few minutes. Men often can’t do this because of how sperm and semen production works.
However, lasting longer in bed isn’t impossible.
Learn to prolong your orgasm. Use delay sprays, for example, or do regular Kegel exercises to have better muscle control.
Practice edging too, which is the act of stopping right before orgasm.
Switch to a new position or a different activity. Do this as often as you can until it’s time to keep going and reach your climax. Find out here some techniques when it comes to cumming slower.
Of course, the best solution is to focus on your partner. Sex isn’t always about you. It’s also about pleasing your partner.
Get Out of the Bedroom
Take sex out of the bedroom! Your partner will appreciate the new environment as it can create a waterfall of new sensations. It feels fresh and different, especially if you’ve had sex in the same room and the same bed for some time.
You don’t even need to take things outside. Sure, having sex in a risky outdoor place can become an exciting endeavor, but you don’t have to go that far. Simply switching from having sex in the bedroom to having sex in the living room can already drastically change things up.
Schedule Sex
Spontaneous sex is always going to be a treat, but you shouldn’t hesitate to schedule it, too. Try not to have sex before the designated hour, either. This builds anticipation and can get both of you gearing up for some action.
Of course, scheduling sex doesn’t mean you can’t get playful. Text her naughty messages, grab her butt while together, whisper things in her ear, or exchange nude photos. All of these simple activities also build excitement.
Going Solo Together
As mentioned, it’s a fun idea to watch porn together. Don’t stop there. Experiment with masturbating together, too.
Watching each other masturbate can become an enchanting and engaging activity. It lets both of you get turned on with each other’s bodies.
Do you plan to masturbate on your own? Get her involved a bit. Let her touch you while you stroke and kiss her passionately until you reach your climax. If you can edge yourself and stop right before orgasm, you both might be ready for actual sex.
Get Better in Bed With These Tips Today
Now you know how to be better in bed. Experiment with toys and positions, dabble in adventurous play, and always maintain communication. You’ll get better in bed by paying attention to your partner and experimenting with what she loves.
Of course, these aren’t the only tips for a better and healthier relationship.
If you want even more relationship guides, continue reading more of our in-depth lists. We also have posts discussing technology, business, health and fitness, and more!
